“I’m sorry you feel that way” can sound dismissive because it may focus on the other person’s reaction rather than what happened. More empathetic responses include I’m sorry this has been upsetting, I understand why that felt hurtful, and I appreciate you telling me how you feel, chosen according to whether you are acknowledging hurt, frustration, or your own responsibility.
Choose a More Empathetic Response
- I’m sorry this has been upsetting
- I’m sorry you’re dealing with this
- I can see why you’re upset
- I understand why that felt hurtful
- I’m sorry my actions affected you that way
- I hear what you’re saying
- I appreciate you telling me how you feel
- I’m sorry this situation has been difficult
- I can understand your frustration
- I’m sorry I caused hurt
- Thank you for being honest about how you feel
I’m sorry this has been upsetting
“I’m sorry this has been upsetting” is a neutral option when responding to someone’s hurt or frustration in a way that acknowledges the feeling rather than dismissing it.
Example: “That comment really upset me.” “I’m sorry this has been upsetting.”
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this
Use “I’m sorry you’re dealing with this” when responding to someone’s hurt or frustration in a way that acknowledges the feeling rather than dismissing it; it gives the wording a neutral tone.
Example: “That comment really upset me.” “I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.”
I can see why you’re upset
“I can see why you’re upset” works well when responding to someone’s hurt or frustration in a way that acknowledges the feeling rather than dismissing it, particularly when you want a neutral expression.
Example: “That comment really upset me.” “I can see why you’re upset.”
I understand why that felt hurtful
This neutral wording is useful when responding to someone’s hurt or frustration in a way that acknowledges the feeling rather than dismissing it: “I understand why that felt hurtful.”
Example: “That comment really upset me.” “I understand why that felt hurtful.”
I’m sorry my actions affected you that way
“I’m sorry my actions affected you that way” is a neutral option when responding to someone’s hurt or frustration in a way that acknowledges the feeling rather than dismissing it.
Example: “That comment really upset me.” “I’m sorry my actions affected you that way.”
I hear what you’re saying
Use “I hear what you’re saying” when responding to someone’s hurt or frustration in a way that acknowledges the feeling rather than dismissing it; it gives the wording a neutral tone.
Example: “That comment really upset me.” “I hear what you’re saying.”
I appreciate you telling me how you feel
“I appreciate you telling me how you feel” works well when responding to someone’s hurt or frustration in a way that acknowledges the feeling rather than dismissing it, particularly when you want a neutral expression.
Example: “That comment really upset me.” “I appreciate you telling me how you feel.”
I’m sorry this situation has been difficult
This neutral wording is useful when responding to someone’s hurt or frustration in a way that acknowledges the feeling rather than dismissing it: “I’m sorry this situation has been difficult.”
Example: “That comment really upset me.” “I’m sorry this situation has been difficult.”
I can understand your frustration
“I can understand your frustration” is a neutral option when responding to someone’s hurt or frustration in a way that acknowledges the feeling rather than dismissing it.
Example: “That comment really upset me.” “I can understand your frustration.”
I’m sorry I caused hurt
Use “I’m sorry I caused hurt” when responding to someone’s hurt or frustration in a way that acknowledges the feeling rather than dismissing it; it gives the wording a neutral tone.
Example: “That comment really upset me.” “I’m sorry I caused hurt.”
Thank you for being honest about how you feel
“Thank you for being honest about how you feel” works well when responding to someone’s hurt or frustration in a way that acknowledges the feeling rather than dismissing it, particularly when you want a neutral expression.
Example: “That comment really upset me.” “Thank you for being honest about how you feel.”
A Quick Note on the Meaning of “I'm Sorry You Feel That Way”
“I’m sorry you feel that way” can sound as though the problem is the other person’s reaction rather than what happened. When an apology is warranted, acknowledge the impact or your own action directly.